Can't Sleep

Well, I forgot that I wrote this thing! So I suppose I'll put it to good use now.

Don't you just hate it when you have that lingering feeling like you need to do something but have NOTHING to do? Or it's just flat out bad timing?

Happens to me ALLLLLLL the time.

Like now. It's 4:30 in the morning, and I'm still awake writing a blog about nothing. All rambles. Laying here on my crappy air mattress in the dark with nothing to write about.


Well I guess it's time for an update. Lately, I've wrecked my car, trying to join the Army, live at home with Mom, and do nothing all day for no pay. I've gained about 10 pounds in the process, and gotten very pale. Yes I know it's my fault for being lazy and not social, but sometimes it has gotten hard for me. I've been such a recluse lately and I hate myself for it. I think I'm just tired of all the people that I do hang out with are mostly dudes that wanna do it with me. I mean they're my friends and they accept the fact that I don't want them, but it doesn't make me feel any better. It's not worth the flattery, because my brain will not allow me to be jerks to them and tell them how it really is. Mostly because I don't want to lose their company (I don't have many friends where my mom lives.), so I just stick it out and roll with it.

It's amazing what therapy it is to just sit down and write/type all your thoughts out. Next step is doing a post secret postcard : )