Old Flame.

So last night I had the freaking time of my life.  But it's so WRONG.  And I'll tell you why.

Zac has always been in and out of my life.  I first met him at a friend's house when I was 16, and immediately there was attraction.  Problem was, I was dating Robert, and it was serious.  Well needless to say, I fell for Zac and ended it with Rob to be with him.  Zac was completely shut off by this idea and after some unfortunate circumstances, it ended.  Now you would think that would be it for him in my life, but nooooo, it gets worse.  He is in the same friend circle I am so I see him alll the time.  About a half a year later, we become just "fuck buddies".  And we all know that that NEVER works out.  I still had feelings, and I know he was shoving his deep down inside.  As the years progress on, random encounters with Zac occur, but nothing substantial. 

Well last night, he picked me up from my house.  We watched a movie, goofed around, picked up some friends and went to the bar later that night.  After a few beers and a couple shots, we're both tipsy.  That's when it all happened.  I don't think I need to even explain more, but it was like we never were apart.  Now, laying in bed, I'm cursed once again.  We will never have a relationship.  It is a shame to put such chemistry to waste, but we both know it will never happen.  The timing or circumstance will never be right.  And that's why it's bad.  I hate having my mind on someone and having butterflies in my stomach and getting cases of the smiles for someone that I can't have a future with.  But I know the feelings will go away, they always do.  I just thought I'd write about them today.